Live a Meaningful Life

Now this crew--I cannot promise they wouldn't handle a snake if they saw one in the  pasture before or after church--but it would only be for exploration and adventure purposes only- nothing spiritual!  On any given Sunday night at six a group of people from a few counties come together in an updated shed on a county road in Mooreville in an effort to collectively worship Jesus together!  I am positive when people drive by (if they even recognize it is a church) they are convinced we do some weird stuff in there--like handle snakes, pass out, drink strange things, sacrifice animals, and/or smear blood on things.  The truth is, we do none of that.  Although, we do have some pigeons who have nested somewhere in the back roof--I am pretty sure they are safe! We are just regular people living life together.  We make an effort to care for each other, encourage each other, and walk with each other as we struggle and fail.  And in the meantime, we have some adventures! Over the las

Whew!!! The first semester of this home-schooling business has flown! Overall, it has been much better than I ever expected. Of course, there have been days that have been far from good--tears, yells, groans, ripped paper (mostly from me--the adult).  But after the meltdowns, I somehow get it together and the day ends well!  I have had to detox myself from a traditional education mindset. I was surprised how much I have been affected by working in the educational arena for 14 years.  As some of you know, one of the primary reasons I decided to homeschool was the fact John Gannon was a struggling reader.  Throughout this semester, he has made tremendous gains and somedays he asks to read all day.  Initially when this started happening I was like, "No, we have to do some math and we have got to work on the next states, etc."  What in the world was I thinking? I am under no timelines, no semester limits, no mandated holidays.  Yes--you can read all you want!  I now only have

Out with the old, in with the new.  We moved the boys' beds out the other day and exchanged them for hammocks.  They have been great all around--they are super comfy and a great space saver!  And instead of just being a bed--they have been forts, secret hideouts, and animal carriers! Does anyone have a problem with self-discipline and selfishness besides me?  Ugh...I get so sick of myself sometimes. Back in November after I finished reading my Bible one day, I realized that in certain areas of my life I had become pathetic, lazy, and just plain selfish.  Unfortunately, if anyone had called me on it, I could have given him/her very logical reasons for my behavior.  When I mentally ran through some of my list of "reasons" I felt sick. I was using these justifications in an effort to stay the same.  So I fast-forwarded mentally for the next five years and then just felt sicker! Yuck--I want to be different--a better Paula.  However, all of my justifications  were only

What is that noise?  It is faint and has a monotonous rhythm...oh, the ceiling fan!  Around my house hearing a faint sound is a miracle!  Our rooms are generally busting with adventurous tales, lively play, and fierce battles.  But for the moment--I hear the sound of the ceiling fan motor, the breathing of a sleeping, almost four year old, and some random laughs from the "just-turned" eight year old and the forever 39 year old.  Who knows what they are doing upstairs?   Any of you who have known me long are aware that I am an advocate of the imagination!  I love to hear my boys create something from what seems like nothing. Just the other day I was quite proud of John Gannon's imagination.  He and Johnny were upstairs creating/playing army with the little plastic men and some forts. At some point, Johnny dozed off to sleep and was awakened by a burning pain sensation on his hand. The day before, he had acquired a blister from kayaking in Alabama. He looked down at his

The cool breeze rustles through the trees as I sit on the porch enjoying the evening shade and the laughter of two souls bouncing around on the trampoline.  I feel a rush of emotion, thought--something that I can't adequately express...a sense of fullness. Ten years ago you would have met or known a different me--a me that was very goal oriented--working on completing a Ph.D., aspirations of publishing a book, working 3 jobs to pay for grad school/and continue to stay out of debt, praying to see real change in people's lives that I worked with, spending lots of time thinking/planning how to make the next year greater...oh, the endless lists. Today--with all those things checked off--I sit on my back porch and feel as if I have so much more.  Not because of the things I have accomplished, but more for the things I have given up.  Through the years, accomplishing lots of things give you moments of good feelings and exciting times.  It felt pretty good when I heard the words,

As I was thinking about my life today, I was mentally reviewing some of my best memories (you know--those treasured moments in life--some big events/but mostly just small things that hold a lot of meaning).  I realized that all of the things I recalled during that thought process were related.  All of these "treasured" moments happened when life just kind of stopped for a while. When I laid the "busy"ness and to do list aside and was fully present.  I challenged myself today to do this even more.  I mean really--I didn't have one memory that came to mind during times when I was running from one place to another, stretching myself thin, or working 2 jobs and going to graduate school... What were some of those treasured moments? One day in the middle of cleaning the kitchen I got caught up in this song--so I stopped, started singing loud and dancing around...then the next song...wow--it grabbed the attention of my soul and all I could do was realize how bles

Tomorrow is the day...the day we officially start our homeschool journey! I am excited that I can finally start putting all these ideas that have been flooding my brain since last October into practice!  I am calling Thursday and Friday our practice days--I have got to figure out how Jackson is going to incorporate into it all!  If it were up to me, he would just continue with his play--but I know that is wishful thinking--he wants to do everything his "bruda" is doing AND he is probably the most excited about starting "class!"  I am not a fan of preschool academic instruction (for children who live in impoverished environments--I think it is great) but all the other children--I think 5 years of imagining, creating, and figuring things out is much more valuable.  The school system is finally beginning to realize these concepts are pretty important--in most cases more valuable than being able to spit back out something memorized.  I excelled in school, college, and g

"Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing...Through all that haste, I thought I was making up time.  It turns out I was throwing it away."  This is a quote I have read over and over in the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I agree.  In hindsight and just from living every day, I have enjoyed more and live more fully when I was still--in the moment, fully present.  It seems I find myself in that battle often--the things that need to be done, the things I want to do, the pleas from the boys to come and play...time.  We often complain that we do not have enough, but God gives us the exact amount of time He purposes for us.  It is my responsibility to use it wisely.   Have you ever been present in the room with someone-even having a conversa

For the first time in my life, I have planted a garden--a small one, to practice with this year.  So far, I have battled bugs and think some of my pepper plants may have that blossom rot stuff--not sure--but we'll see what survives over the next few weeks.  I have already harvested lots of green onions and about 5 peppers!  I will soon be picking at least 2 tomatoes--assuming the plants survive the bug ambush!  One of my blue berry bushes is hanging from the weight of loads of little berries and I have a few small apples.  But the purpose of today's story is this... One of the things I was most excited about planting was cilantro. We make lots of salsa and love it on rice. The thought of being able to walk outside and get cilantro was exciting--I usually have all the other salsa ingredients but the cilantro--always requires a trip to the store!  So, I planted my tiny seeds--lots of them--and about 7 days later, little shoots were springing up everywhere I had planted! I was t

One of the reoccurring themes I have noticed in my Bible study and devotional lately is being dependent on God--you know--He supplies all things, don't worry about tomorrow, he clothes the flowers, He gives perfect to peace to those whose hearts are steadfast on Him...anyway those are just a few that come to my mind as I type.  The other day as I was reading, my analytic brain started churning.  Oh me, God are you trying to prepare me ahead of time because we are going to be in need? I followed that thought for a few minutes or so and then just did a quick cover prayer for my momentary lack of trust and dependance--you know "God forgive me--I know that you will take care of us."  Even though I can say that I have been reading things for a few weeks that seem to have the same message, I can honestly say, my heart still didn't get it...until today--and believe it or not--it was all over some underwear--used ones at that! I was in Jackson's closet yesterday and re

We decided we would try to have at least a small adventure with the remaining day....and weekend of our Spring Break! So we packed and went to Trace State Park for 2 nights of camping.  I thought I would share some of our adventures to encourage you to do small things with your children or other peoples' children that you love!  None of these things cost a thing... 1. Roll down a hill!  We had races! The only drawbacks for me--I was a little itchy afterwards! I remember rolling down this hill at one of our neighbors' houses when I was kid--it was loads of fun. When we drive by there now, the hill doesn't seem near as big as it does in my memory! 2. Play silly games!  John Gannon got several of his toys and they became secret army men--hiding out to attack--We decided we would make some silly pictures with them too! And don't worry--the kids come up with them--just play along. And if your kids have a hard time coming up with games--it's never too la

We had plans, then other plans...then this! Originally, our Spring Break plans involved leaving on Saturday with several other families from our church to take part in Eight Days of Hope--we were going to help rebuild houses in LaPlace, LA. Then, the virus hit our house...It started Tuesday with Jackson and then on Friday with John Gannon. We knew that he should recover in 48 hrs so we decided when he got better, we would just load up and head out--find some mountains, a river, maybe snow, get on a train, a skybox...you know--have some adventure...but that all changed Monday! I went and had lunch with my aunt, Susan and when I came back home John Gannon had started vomiting again and was very lethargic...we went to the dr...and now--here we sit--at the hospital--waiting for the dr to let us know if we are staying another night! Whew...plans. Do you ever wonder when things like this happen why they do? I am not talking about the poor pitiful me why? I mean--the reason--like are we bei

Over the past month as word has spread about the new upcoming year of adventure--homeschool, lots of people have asked what we are going to do, what we are going to use, and where I have found out about stuff...Here are some of the things that are in the works.. 1. A basic understanding of creating---I'll be honest, one of my fears about JG going to kindergarten was that he was going to be made to color in the lines or always color the sun yellow, grass green, etc. I mean think about it--most people color the bark of trees brown--actually look at some trees outside--with the exception of cedar--most aren't brown! When I think of art, I think of expression, letting things be the way we want or imagine. Not a sheet with predefined instructions in which everyone completes. It is so sad, by the time kids are in upper elementary you can provide materials and say "create" and you know what comes next, "What do you want me to create?" They look at you clueless an

 I thought I would share some of the things that we started when we really made the commiment to get out of debt.  But before I get started about the past, let me tell that starting to make radical changes in your life often do not stop once you reach your goal.  For us, we still practice many of the things you will read below.  And for those we may now be a little lax on, I can guarantee you after a few months without my income we may have to revisit some.  And, we are always finding new ways to save... Johnny is currently growing a beard.  He always shaves it when it gets to the stage it is in. He describes it as needles poking out at you--screaming for attention.  His theory is that if it keeps growing, it will just continue to poke out and never lay down like most beards.  I told him he should stick with it and try this time.  Well, as it has grown out, it has taken on a little character. For some reason, who knows why, his chin has been snow covered--you know, gray...He has inv

Last night about 8:30 we asked John Gannon if he wanted to babysit Jackson upstairs while Johnny and I watched a movie. Now, for any of you that have two boys, you know what a risk we were taking. But...for a few minutes of silence on a Friday night--I figured we could clean up the mess and maybe no bones would be broken when the fights started happening. Boy, were we in for a surprise. That's right..a surprise. They managed to play together for an hour and 45 minutes with no fights, no whining, no mass destruction. When I went up to check on them they were sitting in a chair beside each other--both holding light sabers. Wow! Earlier, Jackson got John Gannon's glasses, put them on and said, "I want to be like my Bruda." It's moments like these that just fill my heart with such good things! Right now, as I type, they are arguing with each other...John Gannon finally gets so frustrated, he marches off and says, I quit. In Jackson's mind that just means th

1. Just for the record, I want to write a new post, the only problem...no ideas---I am looking at a screen with no profound or even simplistic thoughts. 2. I asked my daddy what he wanted me to post about one day, he says "laughing."  We'll, ok, there it is...laughing--lol, hahahaha, huhuhuhuh, hmmhmmmmhmmmhmm. Laughing is good for you, do it often. Sorry daddy, don't seem to be able to carry out a thought about it. 3. Asked Johnny for ideas...and for those who know him, he just asked me questions in return, "What do you want to write about? What are you thinking about?" 4. Just asked John Gannon what he would write about, "Moma is the cutest thing ever. That's all." 5. Jackson said he would write about horsies. So, there...my post about nothing! Maybe next time I'll have something.

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed! Deut. 31:8 People--that is good stuff! If I were getting ready to go to battle, not to down play my ninja fighting skills or anything, but I would definately be glad that the Almighty himself was going before me in battle! He is not going to leave me anywhere without a comforter and without Hope! Even dying is gain! Have you ever been in need of some encouragement? I have. God  used some people to speak into my life over the last few days and it has given me the encouragement, motivation and inspiration I needed to really get serious about a few things. Check this out: 1. A co-worker walks into my office and invested into my dreams--her words of wisdom and inspiration really helped motivate me to get serious about some things I sit around and dream about! She followed up a few days later with the recommendation of a song--all I can say is Go Get It! 2. While

For those of you who know my well, you are aware of my skills, my mean dancing skills, and for those who don't know me well--my lack of!  I lived for years avoiding situations that required dancing at all costs--excuses, lies...whatever it took--I was shame. And then one day--not sure when it was but I had been married a while--I decided why not?  I had the perfect teacher at the time--teenagers! Johnny was a youth minister and we were around them or they were at our house a lot. Needless to say, they tried! I tried, they tried....we all laughed! But the great part, my shame was gone--it didn't matter anymore. The freedom of just busting my moves out anywhere, anytime is great. People laugh, I laugh...it is a win, win. Every curious, just ask...I'll show you! Johnny has always found the most humor in it I think--he would always beg me to dance and once I started, he would say things like--no, really--try to or why are your arms so stiff...and of course, we just laugh. But

Today's topic--marriage. I plan on sharing some random stuff about marriage--not because I am an expert--just because I have enjoyed my marriage for the past almost 16 years and it is fun to talk about! 1. I think the absolute most important factor to the success of your marriage is that both folks love God more than each other! You see, on those days you want to let your flesh take over you have the Holy Spirit to guide you and give you the strength to restrain (you know--crucify yourself). And on those days you actually do act like the devil himself...well, you repent--and ask forgiveness--from our Creator and our spouse! It means swallowing pride, humbling ourself and just admitting we blew it! And because your spouse loves God, he/she will remember those verses about forgiveness, mercy and grace...and everyone lives in Christian harmony and peace! Ha--that sounds easy and I got a little satirical at the end. The truth is when you are both truly about living for Christ it just

Just about every week I get to hang out with a great group of women--we try to encourage each other as we study the Bible and just try to figure out how we can reflect Christ a little more.  A few months ago we all decided that one of the things we probably need is a mouth muzzle. You know--a filter or guard that would be a visual--not so comfortable--reminder that we need to be mindful of what comes out of our mouths. Psalms 141:3 says set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep a watch over the doors of my lips. Well, obviously our idea of the mouth muzzle wasn't such a new idea. Sometimes, my mouth gets so ahead of my brain--twice today at work I realized I rudely interrupted people talking and just ranted about my own stuff--how selfish.  This afternoon, I literally had to crucify what I was wanting to say to someone--when I say crucify--I mean it--I had an intense feeling and my thoughts were running wild. Not to say what I wanted was literally an intense battle! I just wonde

If you came and lived with us for a while, it would not be very long and you would hear Johnny say  something like this, "Why are there so many toys down here? There are two rooms upstairs for all of this stuff. Why does it end up down here?" Obviously, our children aren't very good with taking the toys back up after playing with them. It is hard to find that balance--letting them freely play without nagging all the time about the mess. I have tried different things over the years and I must say, that today's effort may just work! Thanks to Pinterest, we now have a clutter jail. If it gets left downstairs, it goes to jail. In order to get it out, you must do an act of kindness or clean something up. Here is what has been put in jail so far today... The funny thing, when I introduced the concept to the kids, John Gannon gets all excited. He goes upstairs and brings one of his daddy's Bibles downstairs. He put it in jail and says, "There...Daddy left his

If asked, I would guess that most of us would say that we value relationships and think relationships are more important than money, things, jobs, etc. but if you are like me, relationships (outside of the ones in my immediate family) seem to get put on the back burner due to life's demands. These demands aren't big things, just little things--like time, wanting to rest or be lazy, homework, baths, washing clothes....you know, just all these little things. It reminds me of the passage in Solomon 2:15--catch for us the little foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. The foxes were destructive to the vineyards--because they are small, in an effort to get the desired fruit of the vine, they would have to chew the vine. The result--dead vines that were unable to produce fruit. I must confess that as time passes, many of the relationships that I wish I could say I was nourishing are really just "meet, greet, and leave" at best--yo

One of the things I remember rolling my eyes at as a teenager is when I would hear someone say something like, "You are never going to stop learning. Or When you get more experience you will think differently." In my arrogant little mind at the time, I would just gag at the thought of having to continue learning and as far as I was concerned if you just did enough planning on the front end, you did not have to worry about the experience thing because you would make the right decisions from the start! Now--even though that may have been my thought pattern it does not mean that I always practiced those concepts...So as an adult, I have to admit I have never stopped learning...and as for one of those things that comes from experience, here it goes... I am by nature a planner--I like to organize stuff and have a neatly designed place for everything. I like to have plans if we are going places. I like to know we have reservations. I like to create lists so I don't forget thi

Sometimes I get so busy, I forget to see and appreciate the simple small things in my life. So today, I thought I would share some of those things... 1.  The ability to pray and read the Bible--whenever, wherever I want! When I get frustrated, depressed, ill, content...I can't count the times that investing some time to nourish that Spirit inside of me has brought so much good! I just wish I could remember to do that at all times--before opening my mouth to gossip, before eating the 8th cookie in a row (7 or less is good, 8 or more is sin :), or after having a wonderful day! 2.  My children sleeping--I am sitting listening to Jackson as he breathes in and out while he sleeps.  It is so peaceful and sweet. I can't help but to marvel at creation--how our bodies are designed to do these small things that are necessary for us to live--wow--while typing, my heart has been beating, my brain has been sending all kinds of signals, blood has flowed throughout my entire body, juices

As we get ready to adjust to one income living, we are preparing by doing a few things differently, I thought I would share some of them with you! 1. We bought a $35 indoor laundry hanger. This is the start of month 3 in which we haven't cut on the dryer! The results--a little over $30 decrease in our electric bill! The cons, the crusty towels--but if you can't get over that--all you have to do is put them on the tumble cycle in the dryer--it is the tumbling that makes them soft, not the heat! 2. I read a book about cutting your groceries in half. I really didn't think we had much room for savings here because we already only spent $400/month for the 4 of us. And i am not going to fool with all the coupon mess! The first month...we decreased our expenses to $280. Last month, we spent $306. What did we do differently--bought groceries once a month--I preplanned our meals using the Wed sales ads and comped prices at Walmart. Wow--thought the results were pretty good! 3.