Live a Meaningful Life

Tuesday, December 16th I had enough! I decided I was done with adding to the scale and was going to do something about it. So, how has that turned out you may wonder?  On the 17th, I was battling intense cravings and stupid, irrational thoughts. The following day or 2 was the same and then, it got easier.  I was a little worried as the family gatherings approached. I knew that good food and DESSERTS would be in my face.  Would I fail?  I decided to preplan what I would eat as much as I could. It did work. I only failed once-and it wasn't that big of a deal--I was going to eat 1 biscuit-but ate 2 instead (they are my favorite and in my defense--we waited too long before eating) I didn't eat anything that morning and knew we weren't going to be eating until 10:30 or later.  As for the results, I am down 3 pounds!  Some of you have messaged me privately and asked exactly how I planned on doing this.  Here is the scoop: I use the Lose It app. I set my current weigh and go

Disclaimer: The purpose of this post is not to criticize how you celebrate Christmas. It is just to share how our family observes the day within our house.  A couple years after having John Gannon, Johnny and I had the "Santa" talk.  You know-what are we going to do?  So we decided for a few years to not just say anything about it.  That worked until he reached that age where he was a little confused by the mass amount of people asking "What is Santa going to bring you?" First off, we do not think there is one thing wrong with Santa. For some reason we just did not feel right with doing it in our house. So, we never said anything about him. He never asked. We always gave gifts at Christmas, and he was excited. When he was 5, we explained the concept of Santa and told him it is a game that people play and we would play the game if he wanted. He wasn't interested and said he liked it the way it was.  And we did encourage him not to ruin the "game"

Let's rewind 17 years... It is our first Christmas as a married couple. Look at us, so young! Why, is that a Christmas vest before the invention of the "Ugly Christmas Wear" parties? I do believe so-complete with a red turtleneck! We start talking about Christmas and oh my goodness...a little overwhelmed we were! There were just 2 of us--but when you added the 4 families that our parents were separated into + all of their extended kin etc...15 places to go, 12 of them with gift exchanges for multiple people! Hmm...I'll never forget it.  We had the LONG list made--all adults and only 2 children at the time...fretting about what in the world we were going to buy everyone. HOW are we going to afford to buy something for everyone on the list? Then, Johnny discovered it...in one of the aisles in Big Lots-A Mr. Potato Head massager! I mean, who doesn't need a massager right?  And for the $2 price tag, everybody would be getting a gift. We would no longer be p

I thought for the rest of this week (if I choose to write anymore), I will post a few things about how we celebrate Christmas. I'll start with last night. It was Sunday and as most Sunday's go, we get to hang out with some family. Let me clarify by what I mean when I say family.  We don't share any genes (with the exception of 2 sisters). We don't share any of the same moms/dad (except those sisters...) So how in the world are we family? We have shared real life together.  We have walked with each other as marriages struggled to stay together. We have hurt and grieved with each other as children have fought for their lives in hospitals. Addictions-check. We've dealt with it together. We all know some of each other's junk. We get on each other's nerves every once in a while. And the truth is: I still love these people despite their failures and their worst days. And do you know what-they love me too, despite all my junk.  We are family! So we gathered last

I love hiking. It just feels so freeing-- walking around in nature, listening to the bird sounds and the crackling of dried leaves. And of course, sharing that time with my 3 guys makes is just perfect. Who would have thought we would have found statues?  And just in case you are wondering. This statue was not talking, it was exactly like the artist wanted. While I may not have predicted the the sighting of the statues, I did know that adventure would be discovered. Sticks became all sorts of things, fallen trees became balance beams, and old vines became the means to travel up trees. At one point, John Gannon walked up beside me and said, "My head is about to explode because I keep having all these ideas about all these sticks."  Of course, he was in full safety made--didn't want Bella off of her leash-he worries about her. So, there you go...just a few moments enjoying nature that is perfectly designed by the Creator.  S

My children like receiving gifts. They are always so excited-no matter how small or large. However, one observation I have made over last 9 years with my boys is that probably 95% of the time when they make reference to memories or "good times" it never includes those things. You know what they do sound like? Here are 2 that I have heard very recently: When  (said with lots of passion) are we going to play with Granny?  Do you remember when she went to the zoo with us and she was afraid to go in to see the snakes... You remember the other day when we were playing with Grandma...or do you remember that snake we almost stepped on when we were walking on the railroad tracks with Grandma? My children remember relationships-specifically when people stop life for a little and just play. I have to say myself that most of my fondest memories are the same.  When the "busy"ness of life stops and you can just cherish time and each other.  Are you s

War has broken out...I have been battling all day, including right now. That's right. If you read yesterday's post, you know that I am starting to monitor my eating and exercise until I shed some pounds.  Sounds easy enough, but let me to tell you, the STRUGGLE IS REAL!!!!  Everything I have looked at today reminded me of foods that I love. I would catch myself saying, "A little won't hurt. Just eat 1 serving." I mean come on, who actually believes that mess?  I literally laughed out loud at a couple of thoughts that raced through my head today. I know me well enough to know that it just won't happen.  A little leads to more. I have to go cold turkey from sugar and have a caloric plan to stay below for the pounds to leave.  At Bible study tonight I watched as children ate fudge striped cookies.  One kid even grabbed an entire handful before any of the others had a chance to get any out. Normally, I would have pointed that out and asked him to let the other

I am not really sure what this post is going to be about, so I am just going to write and see what happens! First off, today is THE day. The day where I am completely committed to shedding these extra 8-9 pounds I am carrying around. Now, before you roll your eyes or lecture me about how I am fine, etc., hear me out.  I have always maintained my weight by a very simple process. I have a target weight and when I go over that weight by 2-3 pounds, I then do something about it.  My theory-it is much easier to lose 2-3 than 20-30.  It has always worked...then why did I say I have 8-9 to lose? Because I have become of age, that's why!  Just kidding-I could blame it on the indoctrination I have been injected with for years, as early as I can remember, "Just wait until you have a kid or get older, that weight won't be so easy to lose. Your metabolism slows, and so on..." While some of those things may be true...the real truth is this-I have been making terrible choices in my

The past few weeks have been a reminder to me of the brevity of life. It truly is like a vapor--here and then gone...seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, decades. Every second that ticks by I choose. I choose how to spend my time. I choose which tasks to devote my attention to. I choose to let others know their meaning to me or I choose to keep it tucked away as a thought...hoping to share it with them "one day." I have seemed to store a lot of those "good intentions" lately.  I stayed with my daddy and Fran, my other mother, a few Tuesdays ago at the hospital while daddy had a small procedure done to insert an ICD. I cherished watching Fran lean over him and wipe the small shiver of slobber from the corner of his mouth as he snored...The eye contact and the gentle smile that slid across his face as his bride was by his side. It was snapshot of enduring love.  I was reminded of C.W. (Johnny's stepdad) asking the dr. questions he had scribbled on his

Sorry if you were confused by the title, but you aren't going to be reading any drama. I mean it literally, I AM SICK OF STUFF.  If you have read some of the older posts you know that I am so attracted to minimalist living (living with minimal things in a small space). Over the years I have engaged in many small projects to slowly move in that direction, and let me just declare the truth=we are very far from that goal. You may wonder why I am a little passionate about it right now. I mean, I did use all caps in the title and in the paragraph above when referring to stuff.  Well, here is why. For the past year (or for the past 5 at least...) I have literally been bothered by the amount of stuff my children accumulate. In the matter of a year, hundreds of dollars worth of toys can be found scattered all over the place, in corners, in boxes, in closets, in my bedroom, in the living room, in the laundry area, in...most of them are left untouched. They remain until sometime around N

Well, I just have to tell you all what happened today.  The boys and I went to our homeschool group's Halloween party. We all had a really good time! Here we are: After all the fun, we had a few errands to run.  We stopped at the Health Food Store to restock on some delicious milk from Brown Dairy Farm.  Then, off to the bank.  John Gannon had figured up how many eggs he needed to keep his current customers supplied. After a little more math calculations, he decided he needed to purchase 10 more hens. He was withdrawing money to go purchase the chickens.  It was here that that today's episode really begins... First, you see above I am wearing a costume, right? I didn't mind at all wearing it right on into all the places I needed to go. I mean, it is Halloween, and my kids love it when I dress up.  However, they did not exactly have ALL the details about my costume. My skirt required a little ingenuity this morning.  It is actually one of those little mini dresses th

Because we lived the entire summer without running the air-conditioner (we cut it on maybe 10 times for a little bit), I am in a quandary. What am I going to do this winter? Right now, I am freezing! The temperature has only dropped a few degrees. I suppose we will keep the windows up until the late part of fall to condition ourselves to the cold like we did with the heat!! Johnny just let me know through the screen door outside--it is 70 degrees! I have seriously been considering having one of those cooking marathon days.  You know, creating those pre-bagged crock pot meals, etc. If you have some good recipes, let me know. A few month ago, I ran out of my home made cleaning supplies. I did not have the ingredients I needed to make more. At the store, instead of purchasing the supplies, I just grabbed a couple of cleaners, one of which my friend just raved about how great it is...I gave $4 for one bottle of stuff!  Anyway, every time I have used them, I have been angry at mysel

I must admit, I wanted to start this post off by listing everything I have got going on right now.  However, when I thought about my motive for doing so, here is what I discovered: Self-pity I wanted others to feel sympathy for me and offer nice little encouraging comments like, "You can do it!"  I wanted people to be impressed by what all I have going on There--the honest truth.  You know when we really consider the motive/intentions behind what we say (and write), sometimes the truth does not look pretty. We try to cover it up and make it look a lot better than it does.  We offer ourselves these silly little justifications, and it all feels better.  You know, it is kind of like cutting the ceiling fan on so no one can see the dust covered blades. When the fan eventually gets cut off-the dust is still there. So it is with my soul. As long as I continue to make justifications for my behavior, the ugliness is still there.  To be honest, when I started processing al

I have no clue if this is possible or not. I am trying to write this blog while listening to a Ted Talk-A Rich Life with Less Stuff by the Minimalists. We'll see how this turns out. Yesterday afternoon, we shared a good laugh in the Cox house! Our neighbor's son came and visited for a little while.  The three boys were upstairs playing, and Johnny and I were sitting in the chairs downstairs talking.  I thought all was normal and fine.  After a few minutes, our neighbor came to get her son who had come to visit.  She came into the house, stood in the kitchen and talked to her son who had come down the stairs along with our boys. In the meantime, Johnny swiveled his chair around more toward me making a few weird eye moves at me.  "That's a little weird." I thought.  A few minutes pass. The neighbors are gone. The boys are wildly running around the living room.  Johnny is laughing-the belly hurting kind of laughing. "What is wrong? What are you laughing at?&qu