Lying Brain!

War has broken out...I have been battling all day, including right now. That's right. If you read yesterday's post, you know that I am starting to monitor my eating and exercise until I shed some pounds.  Sounds easy enough, but let me to tell you, the STRUGGLE IS REAL!!!!  Everything I have looked at today reminded me of foods that I love. I would catch myself saying, "A little won't hurt. Just eat 1 serving." I mean come on, who actually believes that mess?  I literally laughed out loud at a couple of thoughts that raced through my head today. I know me well enough to know that it just won't happen.  A little leads to more. I have to go cold turkey from sugar and have a caloric plan to stay below for the pounds to leave. 

At Bible study tonight I watched as children ate fudge striped cookies.  One kid even grabbed an entire handful before any of the others had a chance to get any out. Normally, I would have pointed that out and asked him to let the others have some before he chose to take so many.  Not tonight.  I was afraid if he put them back, there would be some left and well...it would be a shame for those last few cookies to go to waste. In the meantime I looked down, trying not to make eye contact with the cookies. 

On the way home I kept thinking about food and how bad I wanted something to eat.  At that point, I did an assessment on myself.  Ok, is this mental or physical?  Is my stomach growling? No.. Am I having some weird physical symptom? No... Is it just my thoughts that are so pervasive? YES!  

Wow! I just stopped to reread what I have written so far and I was reminded that my dad called today and informed me he just picked up the case of Little Debbie Cherry Cordial cakes (not those chocolate covered cherries) that he gets for me every year is in. That's right. A case.  Have you ever tasted those things.  MMMM...and they only make them during the holidays. I found myself blankly staring across the room and salivating.  How ridiculous! 

How can something have this much power within my mind. It is just stupid food! And what is even more ridiculous, we don't center our lives around food. There are many who take food much more serious. I internally grin when people return from vacation and report where all they ate or they ask others where to go eat before they go. I have a friend who pretty much attaches food to hobbies, family time, and will go to specific places to eat in which they had to "save up" for!  While we enjoy food, it is really just out of it being a necessity. YET, it still is that powerful or so my mind tries to make me believe.

So here I am, in a battle. A battle that takes determination and willpower to win. I am completely in control of picking something up to eat or not, and I shall succeed! My brain will not convince me otherwise! My brain will not coax me to believe something is ok when it is not. I will not believe the lie that I can eat just a little bit, when I know I can't.  I can walk by the chocolate candy in the cabinet and not eat it...because I am a human and can COMPLETELY control my actions!

Whew...Live a Meaningful Life--sometimes making small changes is hard!