Christmas, part 2 Tapping out on the Gift Games...

Let's rewind 17 years... It is our first Christmas as a married couple. Look at us, so young! Why, is that a Christmas vest before the invention of the "Ugly Christmas Wear" parties? I do believe so-complete with a red turtleneck!

We start talking about Christmas and oh my goodness...a little overwhelmed we were! There were just 2 of us--but when you added the 4 families that our parents were separated into + all of their extended kin etc...15 places to go, 12 of them with gift exchanges for multiple people! Hmm...I'll never forget it.  We had the LONG list made--all adults and only 2 children at the time...fretting about what in the world we were going to buy everyone. HOW are we going to afford to buy something for everyone on the list? Then, Johnny discovered it...in one of the aisles in Big Lots-A Mr. Potato Head massager! I mean, who doesn't need a massager right?  And for the $2 price tag, everybody would be getting a gift. We would no longer be plagued by the guilt..."Oh no, I do not want to go somewhere and get gifts and not have them anything."  We filled the buggy up--literally! And just FYI--if any of you kept those things in the package--the CHEAPEST I could find one today--after shipping $17!

We continued this for several more years. Finally, we decided it was pretty ridiculous on our part.  We were going to tap out. The stuff we could afford to buy (without accumulating credit card debt)--no one wanted it and they SURE didn't need it! So, how did we do it?  We just had a conversation with everyone and told them that we didn't want them to get us anything.  We were going to start using all of our resources to try to get out of debt and we would not be buying gifts for anyone except for children anymore.  I mean, at this point we had over $52,000 in debt (vehicle, students loans for us both, and a computer) + a mortgage. Folks in that shape didn't need to be buying anybody a thing! Everyone agreed except for one holdout...my dad. He was determined he was going to give his daughter/son-in-law a gift because he wanted to!  So we compromised...that year, our gift was covered by a large quilt--garbage bags, toilet paper, paper towels, laundry detergent, dish washing liquid, cleaning supplies...I am telling you we were super excited and it definitely helped during the year with the out of debt plan! 

Gone was the pressure of all the gifts, all the people, the feeling of inadequacy when giving to our parents and others...Over the years, the number of gatherings has decreased and now we are at a much more manageable-6. At those, we will be bringing gifts for the children and some very small hand-made items for our parents and a few others. 

So let's process this-does it mean we are not givers? Our situation has changed since then-no debt, 2 kids, one full-time income.  No, it just means we choose to give and help others who really have needs. While we do enjoy giving gifts, it is much more rewarding to give those gifts to people who have needs and not just a list of wants. I just look around at our vast family and realize that we are all tremendously blessed. None of them are in need or even in want.  Well, they may want, but for things we can't afford. I mean, we WANT a RV or a camper but who can afford to give us that, right? It makes this season so much more joyous to us. We go to enjoy the company of our family...the people...that is what really matters, right? Gifts, they are now just a by product in our lives, not the source of attention or focus. No more mass purchases of Mr. Potato head massagers...


Live a Meaningful Life!