Our Midlife Crisis(es)

Johnny is going to love that I found such a great picture of him to share again! If he wants to choose the pictures, he should write the post! As a matter of fact, he is an excellent writer!

For the past two terms I have taught a Human Development (Lifespan) course for the university that I work for. When discussing adulthood there is a section that addresses the "midlife crisis" periods adults struggle with around the halfway mark of their lives. When reflecting over mine and Johnny's life I initially wondered what ours would be. THEN...after Johnny's recent birthday I realized that we are past the midway points, by a few years actually! If we only live to life expectancy, we are over half way there. In real terms, we are closer to our deaths than we are to our birth! Whew! Where did the time go? How are we so old?

I know, I know, many of you are snickering and saying, um...you all have definitely had a midlife crisis or two. And just so that you realize I am aware, I thought I would share some of them!

1. The other day I walked into our kitchen area and Johnny was aggressively "air paddling".  Smiling (because I know he is having river withdrawals), I asked him what he was doing. He said he was mimicking the ab work out that you get from the water resistance. The day after his birthday, he doubled his run from 6 miles to 12. And after each run, he always does a physical/strength workout. AND he paddled South Sauty in 25 degree weather yesterday! Midlife crisis right there if you ask me. On another note, my so called, "friend" gifted me with a 4 week Cross-Fit class. Her presentation sounded so kind--we can hang out for 3 nights a week and get some quality time in together and get a workout in. Whew...more like torture class and then some spiritual development as I pray that I can roll from her car into mine and hope that I can safely drive home! The only positive, Johnny was playing around with me the other day and he tried to pinch my thigh. But guess what, there was nothing there to squeeze! Take that 40s! Oh...I may be taking applications for a new friend!

2. Did you catch that "walked into our kitchen area part" in #1? Yeah, I guess some of you would consider ditching normal life and living in a camper with 2 kids a midlife crisis. Just know we have all embraced it and are completely fine with it. HOWEVER, I do have to admit it has created a few awkward times. Like a few weeks ago when we were in the pediatric clinic for a follow up appt. for Jackson's stomach issues...the dr. asked something about where we are living and the kids filled her in that we were living in our camper in their Granny's backyard. Immediately, my thoughts started racing. Maybe I should fill her in on the rest of the story, she is going to think we are homeless...she may call CPS. After that thought, I immediately calmed down and smiled. It's ok. If they knock on our door, it is no big deal. Let her think what she wants. THEN...the unthinkable happened. Jackson had on this really nice fleece lined paddling gear shirt. When she lifted the shirt to place her stethoscope she commented about the shirt and how nice and warm it must be. She asked Jackson, where can you get a shirt like this? Jackson's reply, "Well, me and my dad picked it up on side of the road. We got this shirt and one with a baseball number on the back." At that point, I really thought I was going to pass out! You see, along the river people leave stuff ALL THE TIME! You get out, walk up to the road and change your clothes, load your gear, etc. Stuff is frequently forgotten. These shirts had long been forgotten and they stopped to get them off the road. Turns out, that one was a really great shirt! SO, just know that we are completely aware that living in a camper and picking up clothes on side of the road for our kids may be some form of a midlife crisis.

3. Johnny finally embraced the gray in his beard. He ditched the Just for Men around February and decided to let the silver glisten. Sometime when we were in TN he read that ingesting copper could reverse graying. At one point, he thought all that mineral water we were drinking may be doing it's job when the roots of his beard starting turning blond/light brown instead of gray. The other day, I decided to straighten my hair to see how long it had gotten. The curls always hide that (and for those of you who don't know, I had straight hair all of my life. For some reason after I had Jackson, my hair got curly.) After I got finished, Johnny walked by and I said, "look...the girl you dated..minus those little shiny roots that are glistening up there at the top." Yep, that's right...I am not really for that yet, so me and the medium violet/red/brown box of stuff have meetings about every 5 weeks or so!

On a more serious note, true midlife crises are really about something deeper. I have really had two in my life. The first happened when I was in graduate school about to complete my Ph.D. and Johnny was finishing up work on his Masters' degree (over 10 years ago...). It is a long story of how it all happened but I vowed that I would never let my education define me. Even though I had longed for the day for graduation to happen, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that those stupid initials would not be what defined me. As a matter of fact, I can't stand being referred to as "Dr." I told Johnny when we dreamed and talked about leaving our normal lives all those years that I would be just as happy waiting tables. The last four hours that I waited tables at Harvey's when I was 19 or 20, I made $160 in tips! Customer service is a strength of mine and being able to do that and be done with work at the end of a shift actually had a very attractional draw to it!

The other crisis happened when I was sitting in the room at LeBonheur wondering if Jackson was going to live or die. I was confronted with how my own pace of life needed rethinking. Schedules, goals, accomplishments, awards, published books and degrees...they are worthless when you sit in a room listening to a machine breath life into the lungs of your baby. People and my investments in relationships was so much more important. For the first time I really saw the value of people in my life.

As Solomon summarized after having experienced it all in Life-Fear God and obey His commandments. I can honestly say that loving God and others has given our life so much meaning and purpose. I am thankful that we are allowed to make the investment in things that matter.

On another note, while Johnny was driving home from AL yesterday, an older guy ran into the back/side/wheel of our car. If we have to end up getting another one, maybe we should get a shiny new convertible sports car? Just kidding...I am not sure if our old bodies could handle getting in and out of one these days! 4 door, good gas mileage...here we come! #oldpeoplegoals

Live a Meaningful Life!