Jackson & Public Kindergarten

Jackson started kindergarten at Saltillo Primary this year. He had been excited for months. He had asked 3,241 questions about how school was going to operate. John Gannon gave him several lectures about the process, set up practice "centers" for him to rotate through, and gave him lots of "what should you do" scenarios. He continually asked, "When is my school starting?" When I told him about his teacher calling, he practiced saying her name. At random times, he would say-let's practice if I don't know where to go. So, we would go through a role play in which he asked an adult for help and would tell them his teacher's name. 

For those of you who have read this blog for a long time or who was around us when Jackson was younger-you know he had some extreme behavior issues. Yes, behavior was my day job-needless to say having it in my house definitely reinforced lots of those principles! The turning point was when I FINALLY realized Jackson's internal motivation and that he needed to have an understanding of the things around him (where we were going, when, and how it was going to work). So, knowing this, we tried really hard to help him have a good understanding of how school was going to work. One of the reasons I wanted him to go to public school was to see how he would act without our presence for long periods of time. 

So, fast forward to "Meet your teacher." He was excited and was chattering all about it. We walked in, he said, "I am Jackson." His teacher greeted him so kindly and said, "Hi. I am Ms....I go by Ms.... There it was-I saw it all over him. He immediately stiffened up, took about 2 steps over to the left behind me and would only respond to her from that point with head nods or yes/no. He stood there the whole time. If John Gannon encouraged him to go to a table to play he "passionately" let him know that he didn't want to. You see, the name we practiced...well, his teacher goes by her first name instead of her last. For him, that small moment shattered everything he knew that was providing him structure and safety (trust--for those of you developmental theorists). When we left-he wouldn't say anything about school. If people asked, he would change the subject. All the excitement was gone.  I was really concerned at this point. I tried to get him to open up about it and share his heart. I tried to practice the "new" name....all to no avail. All the school questions--were gone. I envisioned a child clinging to me the first day. I would have to peel him off and walk away. Or getting a call after a few hours from the school staff letting me know that had some concerns about his behavior....

Fast forward to about 8:45 the night before school started. I had been at Bible study and when I got home Johnny told me he just went to bed and that he had started asking a few questions about school (that was progress).  I went upstairs to see if he was still awake. When I walked into his room, he immediately called out to me and flooded me with all his "questions/concern." Whew, progress! 

On the first day, he was excited. He was a little nervous I could tell. John and I walked him to his classroom, he went right in and we left as he was making his lunch choice for the day. That afternoon, he was all chatty and really liked it. However, day 2--when we were almost at the drop-off he started saying his belly was hurting. I was pretty sure it was anxiety but I just assured him he would be ok. By the time I was about 2 miles from the school his teacher called--he had thrown up! I told her I thought it was anxiety and if she didn't mind-I thought it might do him good to stay a little longer and see if it got better. After hanging up with her, my stomach hurt...I felt like this uncaring mother. Anyway, I just had to comfort myself in knowing that it was best for him long term...Was I making the right decision?  

Fast forward--the belly ache obviously stopped. When we picked him up, he was super excited--telling us all about his day and singing a song! The next several days he continued complaining with the his belly hurting in the morning. John and I planned morning diversions. I tried different breakfast foods--more protein, etc., no breakfast, earlier wake up time....One day, as I was hanging laundry out he came out and asked what would happen if he was REALLY, REALLY sick at school? I just said, "They have a nurse. She will take care of you." :) Anyway, on Wednesday of this week, there was no mention of the morning belly anxiety. Imagine my surprise when I got a call in the afternoon from his school. It was the nurse...Oh know-right? He had gotten stung by a wasp and his hand was swelling pretty bad.  She was just needing permission to give a little Benadryl. As for his behavior-so far so good! As a matter of fact-I think he may be a little overboard in the rule following category. If you would have told me this, I would have laughed! Who knew he had it in him? Surely I am not going to end up with 2 rule-following safety patrols! As a matter of fact, on the first day, John Gannon scolded me for walking in the grass. "You aren't suppose to walk on that grass." I kept walking. "Mom, please come over hear onto the road, I don't want anybody telling us not to do something." I kept walking and told him there is no sign that says not walk on the grass. "They don't put signs up here about all this stuff. They just tell you and now I am telling you. Please don't keep walking on that grass." I finally complied.  :)

All in all, I am thankful that Jackson was able to overcome a little adversity. I am thankful that his little brain finally feels confident in the new environment and he has gotten it all "figured out." And of course this mom is glad he didn't tear the room up in the process. I had a detailed FBA & BIP ready just in case!