Poverty--Chosen of course...

Why do we live the way we live?  Why are people so busy, busy trying to make money to buy things, pay bills, and store for the future--so they can buy things, pay bils, and then, um...die!  Don't get me wrong--I am not advocating free, unrestrained living and/or spending.  We live on a budget and have no desire to have debt.  If we can't pay cash, we can't afford it!  But as I wake up in the mornings, get dressed, go to my job, work all day, come home, keep up the house, spend some time with the kids, on rare occassions-rest, it all seems so futile.  An honest confession--I really get sick of it.  I really think I would like to live in rural poverty.  I see my family of 4 living in a small dwelling--sticks/mud sound great.  We have a wash tub outside that serves as the bath--it has a cool banana leaf surround.  We get up, start the fire to bake some bread for the morning and sit around and tell stories with the neighbors as we kneed the dough or do whatever it is you do to have to make bread--I've never done it--you know, it is just something I sit around thinking would be cool. Then, we make some balls out of some trash and scrap material for the boys to play with.  Mid-day, we pick a few beans to throw a soup together.  All the while living in community with others and seeking to spread the Gospel.  How cool would that be?  John Gannon wouldn't have to wonder about what toy he was going to get next or when he is a teenager he wouldn't be that concerned with what tags are on his clothes.  We wouldn't have to spend that much time around the house--dirt floors probably don't have to be quite as clean as wood.  Candle light instead of electricity, togetherness instead of separation, simple instead of busy.  I often think we have missed it.  We have become so "cultured" and have all these expectations of things we think we "deserve."  How ridiculous!!  I long for the simple.  I want to live my life the way that Christ truly wants. I think sometimes America and the land of the prosperous has shaded that for me.  I often choose to stay blinded I think.  I seem to ignore my conscious sometimes and settle for the rationalizations/lies I accept--you know the ones that tell me I have sacrificed and therefore deserve...or I have made different choices so that is why... or I live in this culture and it is ok...I just wonder as I live dying if a large percentage of my day and time is not wasted pursing junk--junk that is going to burn one day.  I pray that my eyes are opened to see more clearly and my steps are directed in a way that leads me and my family to be more of a reflection of HIM!!! 

Life around our house is still quite the adventure.  John Gannon is always full of life, explaining how to play and expanding our imaginations ever minute!  He is definately good for our brains.  Jackson is crawling like a wild cat--he will attack you over a biscuit, and his smile still shines brightly on his face every few seconds.  He should be walking in a few more weeks--he has already taken his first steps.  John Gannon asked me the other day if I saw a shooting star to wish our house had wheels.  He told Johnny this past weekend as we were camping to wish our tent had wheels.  Funny, b/c Johnny and I have never really told him how we would really like to just travel around and live...we now have $5, and only several more thousand to go.  Oh, and what was that I wrote earlier about poverty?  God, just help us to live a life that is pleasing to you!