Florida: Travel Log

Panama City Beach--Laketown Wharf--January 8-February 9, 2020

Overwhelmed, overflowing, exploding with joy, yearning, excited, expectant yet content...About a month and a half ago God started refining some things in our lives and the result has been one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. Painful and risky at times for sure... I think one of my biggest reminders is the strength that vulnerability can create. When we take a risk and open up about things it can loosen/break chains. Chains that lock in shame, guilt, and boxes that hold old, familiar messages that like to creep in and hold you captive. Johnny asked me a question over a month ago that immediately made me feel every bit of shame I think I have felt my entire life. Immediately I was sick...do I tell him the truth? I had never spoke it to anyone...ever. Could he handle it? Would it haunt him the way it does me? Was there a need for him to carry that burden? My default was to do what I had been conditioned to do: protect everyone else and carry the load. The old familiar message, "No, don't tell." Instead, I curled into a ball, my head on his chest because I couldn't look at him and I spoke it out loud. The rush of feeling, the uncertainty... but then, the response. Becoming completely vulnerable only deepened and strengthened our love for one another. It was a beautiful reminder of what God wants from us. He just wants us completely, the entire mess, not just the polished pieces we show everyone else. And little did I know, this was only the beginning of a great, beautiful work that would be accomplished in our lives.

I am sure as time passes I will write more or talk about about what has transpired, but then maybe I won't...who knows? Here are some pictures from our time in FL. One of my many favorite things was morning beach walks.

One morning, this lady came up to Johnny and I and asked if we had a phone so she could take our picture. She said she couldn't help but stare at us as she walked down the beach. She said it was just a beautiful moment and that we were doing it right. I assume she could just see our love for each other because we weren't doing anything except standing there and Johnny was whispering sweet stuff in my ear.